Okay...

so how do you avoid getting stuck in the friend zone...

but also not come off and you just want to fuck their brains out and thats it...

is there a happy medium? or does it have to be one or the other?

Its unavoidable most times. One of the hardest things to learn to accept is that not everyone you meet wants to date you. In fact, by fighting to get out of the friend zone, you might end up losing a really good friend in the long run.

My suggestion, if you feel that you are there, bring it up with the person ONCE. If they say, just friends, respect that. Who knows, they might just say, oh, I thought YOU just wanted to be friends.

It goes both way.

just be a dick, usually she will come around and let you bone her

stay out of the friends zone by not talking to her about other guys. if she comes to you with problems about other guys its a true sign you are in that zone.
i agree with kris, especially if you are pretty new to the person, there no harm in telling them how you feel- they may feel the same way.

Punch her in the mouth, and if she forgives you, you're in the friend zone. If she doesn't, that means she will have sex with you.

I say punch Ash in the face and she'll go out with you.

=)

If you EVER talk about puppy dogs and ice cream even once, all chance for sex is gone.

Workout, wear tight shirts, bang some of her friends/acquantances so she'll hear what a badass you are in bed, never tell her about anyone you sleep with, listen whenever she talks to you like you're always interested, and be "cool."

Work in subtle sexual enneundo and double entendre (SP?).

From what I hear, the above ^^^ stated method tends to attract girls with.... *ahem* shall we say issues.

if she says "we are just friends", that means she either was never interested in you like that or you never stopped paying enough attention to her long enough to give her a reason to be curious enough to date you to find out.

DONT listen to Heretic! (Unless you want a girl with issues) You'll be viewed as just a cheap fuck, no long term potential.
Flirt with her. See how she reacts... does she get REALLY flirty (good sign), MILDLY flirty (friend sign.. we like to flirt with friends), DENY IT OR IGNORE(good sign), SEEM PUT OFF(bad sign).
Example: "You like me." "No I don't... hehe" (She likes you)
"YOu like me" "Oh yeah, I'm in love with you, marry me"
(You're in the friend zone)
"You like me" *scowls* (probably would like you to leave
her alone)
"You like me" *rubs up aganit you and purrs* (go for it)

Hey now, no reason to be so hard on yourself ;)

Are you implying there are actually females without issues??? Please introduce me to one.



Unless you're really good in bed, then she'll want to keep you. Besides which, I didn't realize the objective was a long-term relationship. He merely asked about "getting out of the friend zone." Who said anything about long-term?

-ryan

oh really now.
we shall see how far that gets you.

the game can be played both ways.
which is why I laugh when it kicks you in the ass.

and THAT is the most outragous thing I've ever heard

-editted because apparently ryan thinks he can win-

You've not heard very much then, my dear. At least, that's how I've gotten most of my girlfriends. Or rather, that's what they tell me in the post-mortem of the relationship, "Yea... I was just with you for the sex." I honestly feel there was more to it than that, but still... you can't reject the correlation therein.



I didn't realize we were competing.

the argument, not a fucking competition

well then I guess you are more in touch with feminity and maturity than I am.

oh and that "correlation"
denial is a sad, say way to rationalize the shortcomings of a relationship, especially your side. but if you can pride yourself in that, by all means. being "Kept" only because you can fuck must do wonders to your selfesteem.

I was just tryign to give out alittle advice from this female's perspective!

Hey now, are you trying to go for a low blow or something? You're right, it didn't do a lot for my self-esteem; she crushed me. I was a pale comparison of the person I was before I met her or that I am now. It took me about 10 months to recover. What she said to me really hurt.

I did say I honestly felt there was more to my relationships than sex, though. Her words were merely the words of someone in pain going through a painful breakup; she was trying to rationalize leaving me. It wasn't easy for either of us; she was so much more than great sex to me, and I'm sure I was more than that to her. She had to do what she felt was right for her to grow and advance as a person. What she felt was right was moving to another city and going to school; I respect and accept her decision now. It doesn't hurt anymore.

However, my little drama doesn't change the fact that people in general will want to come back for really good sex. You can't dispute that.

...I was grouchy

The thing that has worked best for me is being very straight up and direct. If you like a girl and she is attractive to you, I believe it is important to let her know this immediately. That escallates the situation a little and forces her to decided on the spot whether or not she would hook up with you. If she is interested, she will give the girl hints that its ok to move closer. If she isn't interested, you will get the signals to take a hike. No time wasted. :)

Absolutely, because, as I've learned, the more time you take, the more confusing things can get.

That is very very very very very very very true.

Yeah... it;s a good idea to be open and upfront from the start. taht way it doesn't ever fall into that "friends only" category. A lot of times women use that when they're just not physically attracted to a guy... they like you and enjoy spending time with you, but couldn't picture dating or sleeping with you.