waking up w/ a wicked hangover and still being drunk......

kill me

lol @ Dirk

Waking up from lack of sleep from the night before. Also, having to return to work from a very fun 3 day weekend.

I fucking stabbed myself in the foot with a pencil. ouch.

Trying to sleep at an Airport.

Pulled ma groin playing da foosball today.

how do you pull your groin on a foosball table?

when you tell that story, you should replace the s with a t.

No it was right. I was talking about Bobby Bouchet foosball. Not drunken frat boy foosball.

I accept your nomination. I thank you. I am grateful... I love you. I am so proud... I stood before... That's why I stand here......... Tonight I say... I don't know about you... I'm not ready... I quote... Americans I know... I don't believe... I just think... I am standing here... I see... I think... I listen... I remember... I stood... I hear... I think... I could... I know... I don't know... I intend to... I am... I will stop... I will... I will... I will... I will... As president I will... I'll help... I'll make... I'll invest... Michelle and I... I'll recruit... I will... I want... I have laid out... I'll pay... I will... I'm ready... I stood up... I argued... I will never hesitate... I will only... I will end... I will rebuild... I will... I will... I will... I will... I will... I look forward... I will not... I love... I know... But I don't know... I know... I get it... I realize that I... I -- I -- I -- I believe... I've seen it... I've lived it... I've seen it... I've seen it... I've seen it... I make... I got news for you... This election has never been about me. It's about you!

ex's that you keep around b/c they are good people and you always want them on your side.... but they are not so smart.... and trying to do legit business with them.

africa being shaped like a crudely made firearm--and delivering like one.

i'm over hurricanes. gustav is the first and last hurricane i'm leaving town for (lived in baton rouge for katrina). three more out there; two have any likelihood of hitting the gulf area. once i get through with this evacucation, it's the last one. pluck me off a roof; i don't care. i'm tired of the drama; i'm tired of the sitting on the interstate for half a day, in a greyhound for half another day, spending all this money i don't have, aaaaaahh!!!!

ripping off half your pinky toe nail and breaking your pinky toe in 1 fail swoop.

Wow the Fail is strong with you, paduan.

I hate that shows like these^ completely skip San Antonio. Not to mention it's in my hometown which means I could be listening to badass music like that this weekend, eating In-N-Out, and living in my mom's garage if I wasn't here in TX.

and you could help her scrub her Mrs's toilets!