i just got an IM from someone asking me to critique (off of memory mind you) her oral sex abilities.



sorry bitch, a) you're acting like a nut and b) this is a hands on class

Some of us can hide it better than others.
*hair flip*

thank god for that.

but i can't believe she's serious.

2nd question: do you know where to find opium,


wtffff

this was the only answer i could give her:


waff les tain: practice your head technique on bananas or something
waff les tain: once you get the peel off with no hands you've got it

ummm... did you just turn down a free blow job?

"refresh my memory"

trust me thats not the direction that was going.

They do be crazy.. on the cool. BUT the crazy one's are good in bed.. it's all fucked up

i believed that for a long time, but i don't anymore.

most of the crazy ones are good in bed, the rest are just crazy.

the crazy makes the sex better

at the very least, you gave up a clean shot at telling a crazy bitch to suck your dick.

i think all this "i'm okay with being by myself" is causing you to lose your touch, shane.

just because i knew it wouldn't happen doesn't mean i didn't suggest it.

like i said in my first post, this is a hands on class.

Shane you seriously need to write a sitcom based on your life. I'd totally watch it, as long as it wasn't something like "According to Jim."

i'm lazy, someone else can write a sitcom based on my life and i'll be a consultant and star.

and it would most likely have to be on a cable network. my life isn't all that primetime friendly.

lol

not even cable...like premium channels like showtime or skinamax

now i just need some producers.

executive producers

Oh common man you can right it. The government is paying your salary now. Just write it and have someone edit it. I know you can do it.

Shane for President/Mod.

so many errors.

Oh the things we type when we are drunk.

Like I tell all my friends. I'm highly qualified and at the end I'll make the bitch look at the camera and say "Oh my, what a lovely tea party."